What is a heartbreak? If you ask me, then I will have various emotions and scenarios crossing my mind. It could go from “He didn’t love me back” to “We were not compatible”. In regard to that last one, I was convinced for the longest time that if you love a person, nothing else matters….Well, the distance from love to hate, or in worse case indifference, can be very short sometimes.
I’m sorry to say it, but matters of the heart are just out of your control. This one is going to be hard for you to accept, but it’s out of his control as well. You can try all you want to stick it out and either command him to change or suppress your own identity, but you know the consequences: You two WON’T be happy. One day it will all go up in flames like a house filled with gasoline, and there’s a good chance that you will be the one to set everything on fire, because we ladies tend to run out of patience first.
Whatever scenario comes to mind as you read this today, the end result is always “a broken heart”, whether it be yours or his. And I will tell you that knowing their heart is hurting because of you hurts even more. It’s that pain or heaviness in your stomach when you wake up in the morning. Sometimes I would even feel it through the day. Going through it it always tough. I hate those feelings. I truly do. The funny thing is that I always know what I am getting myself into. It’s a paradox, because all I ever want is to get out….right away. The question is, how?
The only thing that I was capable of figuring out was to get myself a hobby, find a new purpose. You can try partying, going out or giving a shot to a dating app, but that will leave you empty inside once the party is over, when you return from your friend’s house or from yet another date. All you have to do is to stop looking for someone to fix you, to save you…The truth is, you have to do it yourself, all on your own. Yes, I’m sorry to say I don’t have any magic remedy or quick fix that will help you heal. It’s all in abstracts, but so is love. It’s empowering to know that whatever pain I felt before (and sometimes even now) is something I alone am capable of fixing, because who could ever know my heart better than me? Who would ever know what wounds are hurting and how to fix them better than me?
So I came to the realization that the only way through heartbreak is to accept the fact that it hurts. Let it hurt for a little more. Let it fill up my lungs, my heart, my veins. I no longer try to fight it. That pain doesn’t want me to fight it. That pain doesn’t want me to pretend that it doesn’t exist. What is the easiest way of forgiving? It’s letting go. But in order to let go, you have to really feel it first. In order to let go, you need to cry with it, you need to hug it like baby, and only then can you say your goodbye. Take that as a lesson. Don’t get stuck on someone that has you stuck in the same spot. Move on. Trust me, the universe has someone very special for you, you just need to be willing to open your heart…again.
Your NDS Duo,